I Stay Sober
“Once I get behind the wheel I’m fine.”
Ever hear a drunk guy say that? It can certainly seem true when you’re the guy (so I’m told).
Pitching and hitting can both be like that, too. “I’m fine, let’s go,” says the spiraling player as he puts his body in position for the next pitch.
The potion that casts the spell?
Emotion.
(I’ve had some complaints that Tuesday went by without an update on my JCC Fighting Crusaders softball game Monday night, so I’ll work that in here.)
I was committed to two things Monday night: having a lot of fun, and using a one-breath routine on each pitch.
One key for me to have fun is to open my mouth. When I get into a Yellow Light I get quiet. I get into my head.
So, powered by the leg exercise I taught the February Gym members (plus the Zumba classes I took last week), I had a spring in my step and was chattering away to my teammates as I toed the rubber.
Even before each warm-up pitch I took a breath and saw my pitch.
I was deadly.
Three times all night I got to 3 ball counts. Never walked a guy. Or a gal.
But as usual Charlie was in attendance (inside my head).
But my commitment to fun and my pre-pitch routine rendered him helpless. They became my force field, defending me from temptation, from the Dark Side. From the Red Light District.
A Charlie deodorant. Charlie-Be-Gone.
Except for twice. Twice I felt the desire to speed up, to hurry up and throw the next pitch because I was frustrated or anxious about the two balls I’d just thrown in a row, making the count 3-1 (we start 1-1).
I got emotionally tipsy.
“I don’t need a breath, I’m fine once I put my foot on the rubber,” Charlie said, impersonating me.
It’s addictive, this emotion. It clouds your judgement. It is not easy to over come it, even in slow pitch softball.
But I did it.
Stepped off. Sobered up.
Since I was sober virtually all night (a designated driver), I was able to help teammates stay focused, even as our 15-8 lead going into the bottom of the last inning became a 15-14 lead with runners on first and second.
Teammates don’t let teammates play drunk.
My new intention became “I’m going to make the next play.”
There was no way I was going to let us lose. One out to go.
I was willing the next batter to hit me the ball.
I breathed. I pitched. He swung and hit it crisply on the ground to my left. The speeding ball was in slow motion. I was not. I sprang like a cat for a mouse, a lion for a newborn zebra. I was fully stretched out, parallel to the ground, like that photo of Pete Rose diving into third base. I reached my glove out for the ball.
And didn’t get it.
It was too far out of my reach.
I landed with an ooof. Dirt flying. Glasses flying.
But I could look up and see well enough as Jeanie, our second basewoman, stopped the ball, picked it up, and flipped it to our SS for the last out.
I surprised myself with the guttural yell I spontaneously let out. I love to win.
I had a lot of fun that night. Playing sober is fun and it is what I want to share with others. Young men in particular, but also coaches and parents and children of all ages.
Like Bob Kapeller, 63. I got this email from him the other day…
Dear Tom: Some months ago, I purchased your “Mental Toughness Training” program. I am playing senior slow pitch softball the past six years, starting at AA skill level and the past two years at the Major level. While I have been blessed with good health and natural athletic abilities, I always felt I was falling short, somehow failing to realize the fullness of joy from the game. I now am committed to actions of proper pre-game preparation that has bolstered my game beyond my personal expectations. I played well enough to receive ALL TOURNAMENT recognition at the most recent tournament in Palm Springs, Ca. I’m a believer. It’s never too late too………………… For the love of the game, I am Bob Kapeller
Attaboy, Bob. It is never too late.
And it is certainly never too soon to join my Baseball Confidence Gym. http://www.BaseballConfidence.com/Join.html.
Join the committed group of players, coaches and parents who are leaving the uninformed behind, who are arming their players with the tools they need to fight off their inner critics and play to their full potential.
To have fun!
And to arrive Home safely (parents don’t let their sons emote negativity and play).
Tom
Dr. Tom Hanson
p.s. The March CD’s are ready to go. Kick my tires for a month in the Gym and get my best-selling Confidence Conditioning program AND the manual Bob mentioned above for a $0 cost.
FYI, people are grabbing all the bonuses and signing on for a year 3x more than the monthly choice.
http://www.BaseballConfidence.com/Join.html
How To Cut a Player
“It’s the hardest thing I do.”
Coaches: I’m sure you know what a fellow coach would be talking about if you heard him say this (even if you hadn’t read the title of this email).
Parents and players, empathize with a coach for a moment.
I got a message from a Gym member over the weekend, a coach who is carrying 33 players now, and can only keep 20. He’s not looking forward to the task ahead.
So, how do you cut a player? What’s the “best” way?
Here are some things to think about.
I’ve got a book on the shelf behind me by Harvey McKay called “We Got Fired: And it’s the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me.”
It’s loaded with chapter after chapter of well-known people such as Joe Torre, Lou Holtz, Bill Belichick, Muhammad Ali, Jesse Ventura and many business people like Donald Trump and Larry King who were bummed out when they got canned.
But looking back it was a key event in moving their lives toward where they needed to be. They were now glad it happend to them.
I was a decent junior high basketball player, but when I made the jump to Moorhead (MN) High I got cut as a sophomore. I just wasn’t good enough to play for the Spuds.
Yes, I got cut from a team called the Spuds. A low point.
But that gave me time to get into the weight room to put some meat on my bones. I’d had 3 surgeries on my right (throwing) arm from a 4th grade accident, and I used the time to build my body up for baseball and football.
Although I didn’t like failing at something I tried to accomplish, it was way better for me to be cut than to languish on the bench in basketball.
Things happen for a reason. If you don’t think a kid is good enough to make your team, then you have to trust that it’s in his long term best interest to not be there.
He needs to learn the lesson that you make available to him by cutting him.
But one quick note: feel into your decisions. “Is this player really not good enough? Or do I just not like him for some non-baseball reason?”
You might try talking your tougher choices through with someone else. A woman who will care enough to listen and give you honest feedback is a good way to go.
Women tend to look at things differently and see different things than guys. Another baseball guy of course can be good, but a women will be focused more on you and your thought process instead of the logic of your rationale from a sports perspective.
Ultimately, the best way to cut a player is with your heart. Talk to him, tell him what you see and why he didn’t make the team, and wish him well.
Don’t lie. Don’t give false encouragement.
You’ve got to model mature, powerful, manly (as in being a man, not macho) behavior.
If it is a one day try out with tons of players it’s ok to post names. But if a kid has been coming to practice for a while you owe it to him to talk face to face.
How will he learn to powerfully face adversity if you don’t? Put him on his way by modeling the way difficult things in life must be handled.
Much of the worst times in my life stem from when I don’t face tough issues head on.
I hope it does hurt you. You’re snuffing out a kid’s dream.
If it doesn’t hurt you’re either a jerk or so evolved that you see how much you’re helping him.
Tom
Dr. Tom Hanson
p.s. You can get the absolute cutting edge coaching on coaching the mental game of baseball for no charge by joining the Baseball Confidence Gym for one year. Two out of every three people who join the Gym sign up for the full year.
Parents, one of the best ways to help your child is to know what he ought to be focusing on. You can then direct your conversations with him to things you know are helpful. You get that from the Gym. www.BaseballConfidence.com/Join.html
I Hit a Scud
Another exciting night of action for the Jewish Community Center Fighting Crusaders last night.
And another night of Inner Game fun for me.
I hit a scud missile shot past the second baseman in my first AB, but in my second I swung at a bad pitch, swung too hard, and lifted a fly to the right center fielder.
“Damn.”
Charlie (my inner critic) started in on me. I could feel the black ink being released into my system.
Here’s what I noticed:
I threw ball one to the first batter I faced the next inning, and as I got the ball back what do you think my mind was on?
Yep.
The fly out.
“That was a stupid pitch to swing it,” said Charlie and the feelings you’d expect I’d feel with a thought like that are just what I felt.
But like last week I was able to turn it around. Awareness is key. Most players get invaded by inner pirates that hi-jack their thoughts and emotions but aren’t able to
You might say, well, this is almost exactly the same email he wrote last week: Tom fails, gets cr@p from inner demons, then rallies and does well.
To that I say, “Yes, it is.”
And you’ll get more like it. Because I’m talking about the principle element of the art of success not only in baseball, but in all aspects of life:
Being aware enough of your own thoughts to recognize when you’re thinking in an ineffective way and then having the skills you need to turn yourself around and get back on track.
To get back to a “green light” as you Heads-Up Baseball and Confidence Conditioning owners know it.
Thoughts give rise to feelings which predispose us to certain actions.
When you’re mad you tend to take certain actions. When you’re happy you tend to take certain other actions. When you’re frustrated you tend to take other actions, and so on.
We all fly out on bad pitches a lot in life and I want to keep getting better and handling that powerfully and I want to help others do the same.
Parent after parent after coach that I talk to after they join my Baseball Confidence Gym say they want their son/player to be better able to handle adversity.
They want success now, but also see the bigger picture.
They know that if they can help their sons learn mental skills now, through baseball, they will not just have better baseball careers, but better lives all around.
Some also see that listening and watching the stuff I teach themselves not only gives them confidence that they are talking to their son’s about the right things before and after games, but they themselves benefit from the steady diet of good thinking coaching.
http://www.BaseballConfidence.com/Join.html
Think Well,
Tom
p.s. We lost the game 21-8. But I competed well and had a blast. I was able to focus on what I could control. If you want more control in your life or you want to help someone have more control and fun in theirs, join the Gym.
http://www.BaseballConfidence.com/Join.html
