The Next Level of Success: How to “Save the Princess”
Here’s a really great question I got recently.
It’s great for a number of reasons (including it comes from a highly satisfied customer), but I’m going to highlight that it is a “next level” question.
That is, a player (and as you’ll read, a parent) were highly successful implementing mental training during the regular season — and now are struggling with the next level of challenge.
The mental game is like a typical video game in that there are different “levels” you need to clear to get to “save the princess” or whatever the ultimate goal is.
Each level requires the same basic skills, but offers new, greater challenges, requiring the player (and parent) to expand and strengthen.
More on that below…
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Tom,
My son has had a great season! Jay and I have had a new found relationship thanks to our new mental approach!
Jay has developed one of the greatest routines at the plate and because of that focus on the routine the results have come he is hitting .555 and has been on base .777.
I am not a stats guy but unfortunately many of the coaches are. Jay is not aware of his stats we just talk about having a good approach and I show him how proud I am of him for the approach and the fun he is having.
This has changed the way we get along and communicate, thus it has been a wonderful time.
He is 14 in a 13 and 14 league and during the season what we have been doing has had him playing every game and has helped him make the All Star team.
So here is where I need the help.
All Stars becomes a pressure situation to earn your position. Not a problem: “Son stay with your good approach and worry about the things you can control”.
How am I doing so far?
So he does that and doesn’t make it into the lineup.
Now the pressing starts because “I have to make it happen so I can get in the game”.
I hate those words “have to” so in the case when you find yourself as a bench player what is the best way to keep from tensing up and falling into the trap of that pressure to have to perform?
I know that with all we have been working on learning that we have all the tools at our finger tips. I just need a little help putting it together for this situation.
Thanks,
Kevin Deben [at "Kevin's" request I've changed their names.]
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TH RESPONSE…
First off, way to go, Kevin. I’m thrilled that the two of you have had such a great season.
And that your relationship has elevated so dramatically.
I can hear the pride and the love and connection you have with him.
I want players to win, but deepening a relationship with Dad is as big as it gets.
Next, you’re right on with “do what you’ve been doing.”
There are so many things you can’t control as a player, and energy spent focusing on those things cost you success.
So you need to get great at focusing on what you can control.
That’s where the routines come in (as detailed step-by-step in my “Zoned In” hitting program and “Dominate!” pitching program).
Regardless of the situation (and regardless of whether you are pitching or hitting or playing defense), execute your routine.
Focus on your routine and do it to the best of your ability.
That’s what Jay has done to be successful, and that’s what he needs to focus on now.
“Ya, but what if I only get to play a little each game, or a little each week, even?”
Same thing.
But now you are at a different level.
It is much harder to commit to your routine and successfully execute it when you’re a sub than when you’re a starter.
When things are going great (.555 is great), it is the easiest level there is for executing the mental/emotional part of the game.
(Make an out, no big deal, you’ll be up again soon.)
But coming off the bench is much tougher — physically and mental/emotionally.
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So Jay, be aware that this is a greater challenge than starting.
As such it is a much greater opportunity to improve and help you reach your long term goals.
Delayed gratification is one of the fundamental keys to life success.
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Law of the Weight Room: We get stronger by pushing heavier weights.
Jay now has a much heavier weight to push than he did previously.
This situation, in my opinion, is ideal for Jay. He’s shown he can start and know he’ll play every day and play great.
He’s “cleared” that level for now.
So this is the next challenge. He won’t like it.
But remember, “Once hard, now easy.”
Not that I want him to get used to not playing. But I do want him to get good at executing his routine under “pressure.”
By that I mean to get himself into a great performance state — totally confident, relaxed lightening, focused on seeing then hitting the ball, as free from attachment to results as possible — even though future playing time is likely riding in the balance.
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NOTE: You can do the actions of your routine, but not successfully execute it — meaning the routine doesn’t get you into a good performance mindset because the emotion of the moment has overwhelmed you.
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So, how do you get better? What adjustments do you make to succeed at this new level of challenge?
1. Commit to your big picture vision of yourself. Where are you going in baseball? What would you like to have happen?
This will help pull you forward through a challenge rather than trying to push through your current situation.
2. Deepen your practice.
Take your mental training exercises (as provided in my Gym) to a deeper level.
Get into it more.
Raise your commitment to your mental game practicing.
(and this coaching is for the PARENT (Kevin) as much as it is for the player)
Easier said than done. But that’s the way it is. And always will be.
One of my big league clients is going through this now.
Success last year raised expectations for this year.
That’s a new level of challenge.
Needs to raise his game.
We all do to reach the next level.
Sincerely,
Tom
Dr. Tom Hanson www.BaseballConfidence.com
p.s. And Jay, the tapping I teach in my Gym would help you improve those feelings of yours dramatically.
p.p.s. Parents (and coaches) has this past season been a “wonderful time” where you communicated deeply and happily with your child/player?
If not (or if so but like the greats you want to see how good it can get) invest in any of the programs below.
Doing it with your child gives you common ground for discussions.
You, parent, are as if not more important than the coach in determining your child’s experience in baseball or softball.
I highly recommend you arm your self with the best possible tools and knowledge for navigating the parent-of-a-player, mental-and-emotional minefield (mind-field).
* Winning the Mental Game of Youth Baseball and Softball.
An 80 minute video and workbook teaches you step-by-step how to get players to consistently play with confidence.
www.BaseballConfidence.com/youth.html
* “Hanson’s Gym” gives you access to hours of mental training videos, audios and articles, including my “Breakthrough!” course that will dramatically speed anyone’s progress to their goal by training you to be more confident, focused, and consistent.
http://www.hansonsgym.com/site.php/subs/subscription_plans
* Coaching the Mental Game gives you step-by-step instructions for developing team mental toughness — the kind that gets you to Omaha.
http://www.baseballconfidence.com/baseball_coaching.html
* And don’t forget www.YipsBeGone.com for anyone unnecessarily suffering from the throwing problem.
* Or see the complete line up at:
www.BaseballConfidence.com/Products.html
Please forward this email to anyone that cares about the game.
Thank you.
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